[Old blog] A short summary of my weekend in which I tell nothing at all because I am not supposed to

I don't know if you know but many martial arts clubs keep their belt-examinations private (especially those, where it's not just a techinique-showoff). Therefore I won't actually talk about what I did but you can believe me, that it was very exahausting and there were a couple of moments where I just wanted to curl up in a corner somewhere but luckily I am consistent enough not to do that.
Saturday was kind of fun, because most of the physical tasks were those I liked best during training - I felt just a little done afterwards but I eventually did some extra training when I returned home because I still had some strengh left and I felt so active it was insane.
Sunday however costed me a lot of effort to get through it. If I didn't show  lot of volition that day then idk what. There are these day where my disliking of asthma turns into pure and utter hatred. Sunday was such a day. Luckily I only had onre real issue where I had to lep through the entire room to reach my inhaler in time (and luckily I managed to breathe in just deep enough to have that stuff reaching my lungs right away) and after that I just wanted to go home. I felt so bad - I don't know if that's just me but once the exertion of an asthma attack releases me from it's grip, I feel so weak and faint and I really son't like that. Usually I have to sit somewhere on the floor for some minutes, just breathing and calming down and if you handle me a glass of water you can bet on me letting it slip out of my hands. Yay for that （°￣д￣）

But giving up is not a siutable option for me, plus I won't let any disease hinder me from being alive and doing what I want to do. After lunchbreak (lunch was super delicious by the way) I felt a lot better so I continued, but had an even more keen eye on my body and it's signs. The afternoon also was a very important part of the exam so I gave my best and did what I was still able to do.
When it comes to sports, I have developed this philosophy:

❝ Once the point of no return has been reached, nothing matters anymore.❞

Meaning: the moment I feel that my mscles cannot ache any worse, I internally shrug my shoulders and think to myself that it now makes no differene if I just continue with my las strengh or just sit down. The only difference it makes for me is that one of those two options is not very productive and also something that I can not tolerate from myself - exception if I am too injured to participate of course. This is probably a very stupid thing to think but as longs as it is keeping me up straight I don't care.

However, I was very relieved when the exam was announced to be completed and this feeling you then have re-pays you for all the pain you've been through these two days.
I don't know yet if I have passed and eventhough I do hope it, I have my doubts. This examination was so much harder for me than the last one, I hard to limp my way through it and there were a couple of things I doubt I did satisfying enough. Keeping my fingers crossed though.